How odd that management is not buying lunch I have never heard of such a thing at a manadatory lunch

Happens now more than ever You DO know we're in a recession, don't you?

Good grief. Bring a brownbag lunch, eat it an hour ahead of the meeting, and then just tell people you're not hungry, and order water at the restaurant. Your employer is paying for this training, in order to make YOU a better employee, which will lead to your adding value to your employer. You're not a team player by your own admission; this meeting is your chance to learn how to turn that around.

Actually, there is no training, it's not a meeting, it's the boys playing pool for two hours and telling the taxpayers they were working. Management isn't paying squat. The attendees are.

Spot on.

Yes but how can they not pick up lunch at this?

The OP works for the State...

Well then she can't be fired I assume so say no

As stupid as it sounds, she can be fired... for not going or participating. The lunch outing is being ed a Team Building Exercise and she must attend...

State worker no union? Even non union employees I know at a gov agency (not state) have a hard time being fired I know one now and they are pulling a Casanza on her, trying to shame her into quiting but can't get rid of her

Um... What of insubordination? It is a mandatory meeting that was set in place by the Department Head for the purpose of a Team Building exercise. If she doesn't go, it's the same as a "no , no show" = fired with cause...

Better than the 'team building meeting I had. We spent 3 weeks, about 3 or 4 hours a week building a toy robot without any instructions. I envy you..except, I'm really good at pool! I hate to lose, but have 'thrown' a game (golf, pool etc) or two for the 'job'. It's never good to beat the boss!!

Thats awkward too

Be a team player... it sucks, but it's better than the alternative. Learn to 'Shake that bush'..."Shakin the bush boss...I'm shakin that bush" And don't hit anyone with that stick...especially in the nads!

To add further to MBM's sage advice... To further be frugal in the sense of illustrating your financially tight budget, ask the boss if you could catch a ride with him because you really can't afford the gas it would take to get to that next town. Also, the chosen venue, a pool hall, may not be for the sole intention of playing pool. They may have a large meeting room that was available and afforded at no cost to your group in which they (then venue owners) expect to make money off of the presence of you and your co-workers... Lastly, I noticed you indicated that this event was to occur on the taxpayer's dime. What branch of Government or City Entity do you work for? Not to be an outright whistle blower or anything, you could discretely alert a local news channel to the event to illustrate wasteful government spending. 2 hours x how many employees = total wasted taxpayer dollars. Team building exercises should be done at what ever normal location you physiy work at = I get what you were saying to begin with...

Wow, good idea! Let it be HIS problem if he insists I attend. No, it has been established that the sole purpose is to eat lunch and play pool. No meeting, no agenda, no separate room. The boys became used to playing pool there for several hours every Friday afternoon a couple of years ago, - I hear about it constantly - and they don't want to accept the fact that things have changed. Oh wait, they haven't! I work for the State. I thought about whistle-blowing, but just like any option other than going and buying lunch, that will get me fired and I truly can't afford that. If I thought I could get away with it, I would, but I've already objected to attending, so they'd know who did it. We also learned yesterday that our performance reviews depend on attending all team meetings, even the ones that cost us money out of pocket. However, now he has to give me a ride.

Okay, so you've got the lunch thing worked out. You will eat before you go. And you've got transportation worked out. You will ride-share. Problems solved. The only thing stopping you now is a closed mind. Years ago one of the most successful team building events I attended was where a group of us went to Oceans of Fun to swim for the day. I had another one where we attended a museum and ran a relay race putting a 5" dinosaur skeleton together. The only thing stopping you now is a closed mind.

Okay, so you've got the lunch thing worked out. You will eat before you go. And you've got transportation worked out. You will ride-share. Problems solved. The only thing stopping you now is a closed mind. Years ago one of the most successful team building events I attended was where a group of us went to Oceans of Fun to swim for the day. I had another one where we attended a museum and ran a relay race putting a 5" dinosaur skeleton together. The only thing stopping you now is a closed mind.

Face it: OP just isn't going to be happy until he finds someone in this forum willing to agree how miserable he should be over this. :-)

FYI, OP is a woman who's afraid of men and can't stand it when she can't control a situation

Some poeple are introverts and not PR friendly. They are most comfortable with doing their assigned work in a cubical or office, without the need or want to interact with other people = it is what it is.

And yet these managerial practices all have merit. OP is not friendly toward *her* co-workers. Doesn't see things how management sees them. As Jeff Foxworthy would say: "Thar's yer sahn."

I hear ya and understand what yer saying... But the bottom line is the OP is stuck on not growing or expanding upon her interaction skills = classic introvert that is content with what her perceptions are on what work dynamic level she wants or chooses to partake in. She may not have any aspirations to progress amongst the ranks to be further forced to interact with other people...

Exactly!!! Why do I have to behave like one of the blowhards who's always getting in everyone's face at every opportunity? We talk a lot about "celebrating diversity", but of course all that means is "we want to be able to say we're not bigots toward women and minorities." Anyone who doesn't conform must be eliminated. Oh, and there's no union. I can most certainly be fired. The organizer is fond of letting his team know that he has hundreds of resumes on his desk. Anyway, thanks all, even Ms. B.

Face it, your work appears to be your life. No wonder you want to socialize with your coworkers. With your judgemental attitude, they're all you can muster. They have to socialize with you, but go ahead, tell yourself they WANT to.

This is an advice forum. Glad I was able to offer mine.

I didn't take it that way. As a taxpayer I'm not too happy about it either. I'm not surprised though. Our ex-governor is on trial right now for stealing tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars in campaign money.

Maybe the fact that you all hate each other is why you're being asked to do this?

I actually think it's a good idea and OP ought to try to participate instead of being so negative....perhaps SHE can suggest the venue next time. Developing a comfortable working relationship is a good thing and a good way to keep your job and move ahead, if someone's unpleasant to work with or appears really negative, they will be first out and last promoted. I can sympathise with the lunch thing to some extent, but I would say (even if it's not fair to pay for oneself) they're not 'robbing' the taxpayer of much if they expect you to pay for yourself. If part of your 'obligations' are saving money - nevertheless a worthy thing - then you really *could* pony up for lunch, you're just being negative and don't want to. I have to admit, I was in a similar situation once, small private co, bosses' birthday, we were going to go out to lunch, normally we all paid for whoever's birthday. Boss had recently illegally cut my pay in order to rehire a former employee (I was in no position to quit or take legal action) so for one, financially I was hurting, minimum payments on credit cards, no spare cash, and I was in NO mood to celebrate this prick's birthday....by not going, I certainly didn't endear myself to him. The end result was I caused myself a LOT of stress and negative energy which was not good for my physical or mental health. I would argue this is ALL in the OP's perception, if she chooses, it could be a big positive, and actually fun. Mellow out.